How to make a Terrorist
There is no failsafe method
In the important work of creating terrorists.
However there are procedures that can be recommended
Known to have a significant track record.
First tote guns and wear uniforms.
Pose menacing on street corners.
In this initial phase, it is helpful
To point guns at children whenever possible.
Smash down doors in the middle of the night,
Unexpectedly, and at unpredictable intervals.
Raping women in front of relatives
Can be a useful strategy but has its risks.
Generally, cultural taboos can be relied on
To ensure no undesirable consequences.
Wanton destruction is required. Best to be thorough.
Overturn all drawers; empty all cupboards;
Wreck whatever you can get away with;
Claim you are searching for guns. If they protest too much -
Find some. Select people no-one will listen to,
The poor and inarticulate. (You don't want them to get clever
And involve some stinking radical lawyer.)
You need to push people into fear and then a little beyond.
Helplessness alone is insufficient; you must make them impotent.
Repeat the process arbitrarily,
And with poverty, ensuring weapons are available
(Illegally of course), within two years you should produce
A crop of, mostly adolescent, ready-made terrorists
Sufficient to justify any emergency measures.